Posted by: ginalazenby | May 12, 2019

How to Feel Good about Yourself

Our gathering of Conscious Cafe Skipton at Avalon Wellbeing for our April event, our biggest ever

In April we had a biggest event ever in the two year history of Conscious Cafe Skipton. It could have been the speaker, Nick Haines of the Five Institute joining us from Nottingham that was the big draw .. or it could gave been Nick’s subject of “How to Feel Good About Yourself”. Either way, there were nearly 40 of us there and it was a brilliant evening. I knew it would be full of great information so I recorded it. There are three videos of Nick speaking, in between our conversation and Q&A sessions. I also made a transcript of the evening with three summaries below. Do take the time to study this and I really do think, that at the end of your study period, you will indeed feel much better about yourself.  Download the transcript notes with images here.


The basics of Chinese philosophy and how the 12 year cycles work, and the key dates that will have impact on us most

1st recording on Youtube

This first video tackles the premise that the more you know about yourself, the more likely you are to feel good about yourself. We look at the cycle of twelve animals in the Chinese Zodiac and according to Chinese philosophy, how each year affects us … particularly what has happened in the last 12 and what will the next 12 years be like for us, individually and for  the world.


Looking at the Five Energies, what they say about us and what we might be here to do in the world at this time (forewarned is forearmed!)

2nd recording on Youtube

In this Second video, Nick Haines explained the Vitality Test and how it helps you to understand more about how, according to Chinese philosophy, the five energies are balanced or emphasised within you. Each of those five energies presents a KEY PRIMARY QUESTION that will likely endure in your life. Knowing this, and knowing the questions that drive us, is very helpful for relationships and understanding what drives others. When you know your Primary Question it’s easier to understand the gift, and challenges, that it gives you. 

Take the Vitality Test to find out which of the five energies dominates your life and the enduring question that guides you.

How family dialogue makes an impact on us in childhood and why it is virtually impossible to emerge out of it into adulthood with robust self-esteem

Watch the 3rd recording on Youtube

The 3rd video is where Nick Haines hypothesises why it is virtually impossible to come out of childhood with robust self esteem. Neuroscience now indicates that questions have more power over us than statements. Statements with power and force, like scolding ones that are negative in childhood, have greater impact and staying power than ones spoken with gentler, loving tenderness. 

Your unconscious mind is programmed to answer questions. You best serve yourself by asking Conscious Questions. Conscious questions that leverage our imagination and command the unconscious mind to respond can be constructed with a “WHY?’” or a “HOW?”.  These will generate more positive, creative responses and will help us feel good about ourselves. Being kind to ourselves is key, and questions about good self care will make us more sustainable and of course happy.

Download the 11-page transcript notes with images from the presentation powerpoint.

Nick Haines Conscious Cafe Talk Summary

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